Lifestyle and Self Healing

This year has been a rollercoaster ride for me. Everything has happened at a fast pace for me but i think time was really trying to tell me something... the time was always there when i needed it to be in terms of wanting to find the best moment in life to tell my parents of what had happened to me. But this time, time itself had other plans and my first health counselor had told me " there's never a right time" and he was right, there was never going to be this moment in my life where everything would go smoothly and i think that's why it had to happen this way. It was unexpected to me but this whole experience was very unexpecting to my parents. I've learned from this that i kept a lot to myself and it not only hurt me but it ended up really damaging my parents as well because i wasn't as honest as i'd like to be. Of course i never knew exactly how to tell them and what to really tell them.. i never found that right moment but i also didn't want to

On Tuesday my mom waited for me to finish up the drawing i was making for my art class and she asked if she could talk to me. I wasn't in trouble and she didn't want to make me feel like she snooped around in my belongings or computer to find out that something isn't going well with me. She said she had this mother's intuition that something was wrong.. i'm not one to really show a lot of emotions overall but i'd say i'm doing better now at expressing stuff with my mom but of course one thing was not expressed at all and that was my sexual abuse. We both started crying even though nothing was officially said but we both knew that something wasn't going well in me. I've held such a burden on my shoulders for the past 11-12 years all because i was too afraid of the reactions i would get and what would happen afterwards. My mom didn't know what i was going to confess to her but she knew it must have been bad because i've changed so much and i

I work at my college library and i don't usually do anything unprofessional at work, at least that's what i believe. I'm out of my previous relationship already and i was loyal all throughout it so i never really paid much attention to guys around me because i had a bf at the time, but now that i'm single i've noticed one guy recently. He checked out a book and i was the person helping him out and i felt ridiculous, like a little girl seeing a crush. He was attractive and something about him made me feel this sense of excitement that i haven't felt obviously because i've been in this slump lately where i want to get over my ex and at this point i really am getting over him and that day where i saw that cute guy at the library it was proof of that, it was proof of that feeling that i would get being asked on a date or being asked for my number. I was debating on whether to go up to him and give him my number but i chickened out at the moment and didn&#

Hello everyone, i've always been fascinated with the idea of what i would possibly tell my younger self if i had the choice to do so. I've realized that there's a lot i would want to say for obvious reasons like the fact that i was sexually abused and kept it in for so long, i would've liked to express that at an earlier time if i could've because keeping something like this from anybody was really damaging for me and i can't really do anything about it now but bring more awareness to it and work on myself as an individual. There's other lessons i'd like to teach to my younger self like having your first heartbreak will suck and it'll take a lot of energy out of you and make you feel like you were the reason as to why it all happened, but you should never doubt yourself as a person, in the relationship i grew and he didn't want to grow with me so there's nothing that i did wrong. Even though we had arguments here and there, i did the bes

I needed to write tonight... i went into a crying fit for the past hour because i've had some memories resurface about my previous relationship. I'm still healing so this feeling of pain is still very present and i'm just trying to get better, tomorrow it'll be easier for me at least because i'll be in school and be able to distract myself.. and that's usually what happens, throughout the weekdays i can focus on myself but by the weekend sometimes i can be really good and other times i can be really bad. I don't feel like cutting but i just feel a sharp pain in my chest because i'm still grasping the concept that it's over. I love this person and i really care about him so that's why i want to give him a chance away from me... well technically he initiated that but i'm trying my hardest to follow it now instead of questioning it and arguing about it, even though i still have so many questions about him and about myself. He doesn't

I've had a big secret that i've kept to myself for a long time and basically within last year and this year i've come forward and told a couple of people of what's happened to me. There's only two people that actually know everything about it which was my ex and also my health counselor. But i've told more people now about it... probably about 3 more people know about this as a general topic more than knowing each detail... but any progress that i made helped me a lot in the end. It's hard to even type this out but i was sexually abused as a child by someone that i consider close to me. I don't want to give out full details on anything at this moment. But i do want to use this space as something that i could both learn from as well as heal from. This whole blog has really shaped my view on what i've been wanting to do my entire life.. and mental health is such a big influence for me. I've always love learning about psychology and it's a

I wanted to do a post right now at this moment to stop me from having the impulse to cut. Because i know how my mind works and how much i can pressure myself to do stupid things that i end up regretting. This post is just really meant for me to do for myself and it might not all make sense in the end but i don't care because i just need to do something to get my mind off of an impulse that i have whenever i'm in these situations. It's hard to break a bad habit... so for me to do this i really just want to have a nice time just typing this out freely. I made this as a first post because i might end up doing this with other instances because when i feel certain feelings of frustration and sadness writing has been my coping mechanism that has changed me for the better... it's improved my overall well being and health. I've been both more honest and brutal with myself through this process because it's forced me to really spill out my feelings and thoughts.. w

Hello once again... I wasn't exactly happy with my last post about confidence because i didn't really go into crazy depth about myself as a whole... i gave a general idea but i didn't do that much with it. Whenever i make a post, i do it all on one day just to get it over with.. but i actually want to spend more time creating quality content in my writing. So hopefully this post will be much better than my last one.. that's the beauty of this... i get to observe my own creations and make changes.  This topic is going to be about heartbreak... and i know a lot about it. Although i'm very young.. and really i've only had one serious relationship, heartbreak is the shittiest feeling to have to go through. There's constant conflicting thoughts and feelings that you fight within yourself thinking " did all of this happen because of me?".. you start nitpicking at anything to find out basically what the hell went wrong. Not everyone knows the compl