Skip to main content

Coping Thoughts #1

Related image

I wanted to do a post right now at this moment to stop me from having the impulse to cut. Because i know how my mind works and how much i can pressure myself to do stupid things that i end up regretting. This post is just really meant for me to do for myself and it might not all make sense in the end but i don't care because i just need to do something to get my mind off of an impulse that i have whenever i'm in these situations. It's hard to break a bad habit... so for me to do this i really just want to have a nice time just typing this out freely. I made this as a first post because i might end up doing this with other instances because when i feel certain feelings of frustration and sadness writing has been my coping mechanism that has changed me for the better... it's improved my overall well being and health. I've been both more honest and brutal with myself through this process because it's forced me to really spill out my feelings and thoughts.. when most of the time i just want to hide and shelter those same feelings so no one has to see this side of me in which most of the time i think is so upsetting. 
I've gone through some bullshit recently and i'm angered and really sad because of it. I felt like everything i ever knew just washed away in front of me. I can't really come to terms of what just happened and i really need some time for myself now, more than ever... because my heart really needs deep healing. I'm so young... i've matured quicker than others.. and i'm still finding myself in horrible situations that i really wish didn't have to happen to me but i guess that's just life for you. You can be the best version of yourself and it may not end out well for you. It sounds like i have no hope right now.. but i do in the back of my mind. I just need to take some time and really reflect on myself and how i feel about all of this. Right now i don't feel great, but writing about this has calmed me down a bit... because a couple of minutes ago i was crying so much so now i'm feeling more rested after typing. Again it may not all make sense.. but right now i just am doing whatever i need to do for myself. I'm finally putting myself first before others. I'm speechless of how long it took me to really look after myself... how am i supposed to help others, when i neglect myself? It's really daunting. Right now i have tears in my eyes but they aren't coming out yet. I'm just an emotional person... i'm very empathetic and i need to find my own boundaries in life so that i can take care of my own well being first. I think i should be done with this post now because i do feel better from it now.. i'm starting to gain a sense of relaxation so i think i'll just end it here. Thank you to anyone who happens to view this. I'll be making a post sometime this weekend. Happy 4th of July. 
* Note* : not my original artwork ... depression 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

JOURNAL PROMPT #1: WHAT IS ONE CONSISTENT PRACTICE YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THROUGH THIS QUARANTINE?

Hello everyone, I wanted to start a new project in this time that I believe would help the most to reach others with. I want to make my own journal prompts for people to view and to hopefully write to. I would love to see any responses if anyone feels comfortable to share, there is no pressure at all, just love. I've always had a comfort in writing and the connectedness I feel when I write something not only for others to view by for myself to reflect on. I hope that throughout these weekly journal prompts it will ease a bit of the quarantine tension and unite us through writing. With each journal prompt I make I will be responding to my own prompt to give others a view of what I personally think at the time.  My Response: The one consistent practice that I've been trying to do is at least write once a day. Whether that be in my planner or if I just write out a whole letter to someone to give later on. I want to be able to keep my spirits high by at least writin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Learning To Be Assertive

I've always been more on the passive side, and i think it's due to my upbringing. Each experience i've experienced has leaned me to become more passive rather than aggressive. I love my sensitivity and i love the strengths i have with being a bit more passive,  but there's definitely a line that needs to be drawn to where no one could also take advantage of me. So just recently i was confronted with the idea of being more assertive as it would help out in my career but it'd also help out in my overall daily life. I need to be able to step back and analyze my conscious decisions of always saying yes to people. I want to stop that initial thought of saying yes just because i'd like to help out, i know my intentions are good and what my truest form is, i'm a helper, naturally i like to exist and participate with anything i can. I would like to even mention that at times i can switch and become this leader, an advocate who wants to speak out for things i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Coping With Isolation

I hope everyone's doing well with all that is going on. I'm sure one day we will all be able to engage in the lives we once had before any of this happened. But for now all that we can do is keep ourselves afloat and balanced. How do you cope with isolation? How are these times treating you? Are you doing stuff you love? Stuff you wished you had more time for and now that you do are you trying to take advantage of it? One of my loves has always been writing because it's my form of expression, I think sometimes written words convey a lot more of my emotions than when I say them out loud. And throughout this time I've been at least trying to incorporate writing, and I've started to write letters to my friends. My friend reached out to me recently and asked if I wanted her to write me a letter, and honestly words can't describe just how giddy I felt in that moment. Of course I would agree to it, why haven't I done this sooner? Why are we not connecting like ...
2 comments
Read more