Lifestyle and Self Healing

I wanted to talk about me not continuing therapy. It happens at times and for me i've felt so unmotivated to do it because of my schedule at school, i only go there two times a week and usually when i schedule my appointments it always lands on a different day. I get unmotivated to go solely for it because of the drive and the parking and it's really stupid and immature of me to think that, my health comes first and i should really take the opportunity since it's already paid for with the tuition. The first session isn't really a session it's called a screening, and what it does is basically screens you to see exactly what you would want help in and then from there the next session will most likely start with seeing that process and then going on from there. I don't know how i've been doing personally, i feel as though most of the time i've been doing pretty well, school keeps me busy and sometimes i see people that i talk to or hangout with from time ...

I went to Knotts Scary Farm yesterday, i'll be going more times as well since i have a pass to it. I just wanted to post this because i had an idea that i should take photos of each maze and give a review of the mazes, without really spoiling anything. I didn't take photos this time other than this photo here which is the Depths maze, we didn't even go inside because it was an hour wait and we weren't going to stay super late at the park. This was just a quick post to kind of show what i would be posting about next time, so i'll make sure next time to take photos of each maze and share my thoughts about this year's maze. They've been great so far, i was able to go to 4 last night so not too bad. 

I had a conversation with my ex not too long ago about what happened between us and we talked for a while about it and now we are slowly getting away from the concept of being friends... and going into actually going on a date. We went on our first date not too long ago, and everything felt the same way it did before in a good way. Nothing was uncomfortable or awkward. There's a lot i'd like to mention but for privacy reasons i will just say that he wanted to mature more as a person and honestly so did i. There were mistakes that were made along the way but now i'm bit over it already and want to try it out again and see where it takes me. I feel happy right now and i hope this feeling doesn't go away because i'm not ready for it to again. I guess you could say i'm hoping for the best right now and i'm going on with my life at a slow and steady pace... we aren't going to rush anything and i am actually perfectly fine with that... of course there's ...

Firewatch was phenomenal. So Firewatch is a first person mystery adventure game and you play as Henry and explore a lookout area by quests given by Delilah who is your supervisor.. things get interesting when weird experiences start happening around you. For me this game was able to make me feel like all the stress i had went away, because i focused my time on literally escaping within this game and it felt therapeutic. The colors and scenery of this game were incredible and made it that more enjoyable for me. I really recommend this to anyone, it's easy enough to play and understand once you get used to using a map in the game. It's story driven so it feels very intimate overall. I don't want to give too much away of what this game is because if someone would like to experience this for themselves i would encourage them to do so because playing this game i think will give you a new perspective of certain issues in relationships... that's all i want to say for no...

Book:  This book was incredible, i loved it. It meant a lot for me just because i really related to the mom in this book... her experience with rape was heartbreaking and her journey through recovery was eye opening in so many ways. Without spoiling too much of the book and the movie i want to talk about the kid in this story, Jack. This is a great book for everyone i believe to read... it deals with tough issues but a lot of this is profound and should be explored more. Jack is such a charismatic young boy who is troubled at times.. but growing up in that type of environment could cause major damage to this young boys developmental growth.. since everything was done out of survival you can only applaud the mom and jack for both of their own personal bravery stories. Throughout this whole book you get captured yourself into their lives and you start wondering exactly, what would you personally do if in a situation like this? This book was mind boggling.. i didn't want the st...

I have really good days and then i end up falling apart in instances. I'm still trying to deal with a lot and i don't know how to handle everything at once, even through i'm really trying to. I need to write more because that's helped me a lot lately. I want to write another short story soon, i just need motivation for it like i did for the last one, i want to go to a cafe and sit down and work on it, so maybe i could start trying that out in the weekend. How can someone be strong and weak at the same time? i don't know how it happens but it just does, because that's all i've been lately... and honestly no one can help me at this moment, only a professional or myself. I'm going to schedule an appointment at some point when i do start school again at my new school. But right now i kind of have to just use this platform as my way to express myself. I feel alone most of the times and then other times i feel overwhelmed with support i'm getting and it...

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert was such a great book, its a self help book that makes you really branch out from your comfort zone. This book was so rewarding to me, it really made me branch out and find things that i love to do and just to create with no boundary and to create with no fear as well. It's scary to want to do something creative on your own, doing the short story was scary to me because i was afraid of possibly the judgements that could be made from it but this book is more than a book to me to be honest, it's been a life lesson and a quote to live by, just create to create and don't be afraid to do anything that you really aspire to do. It's a hard process to go through, wanting to create something without constant questions or fears related to it, but you have to at some point live freely and live with love, and for me that's been the hardest thing of all because i carry so much weight on myself because of my anxiety so i end up doubting a lot...