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Breakup #2

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So i've talked about this scenario before on here.. and unfortunately this is still tied with the same person that my first break up was about. So i'll try my best to explain everything that has happened since then.

My ex and I were no longer a thing since may of 2018, three or four months go by and he contacts me saying that he would like to talk to me about something, so we called at that time and he told me that he had a rebound with this girl, it wasn't sexual but he was in a relationship with her for 1 month.. and it ended because he knew he still had feelings for me and he didn't want to do that to her... time goes on and we start talking again like how it was before we even broke up, he said he wanted to change and grow up and that he still wasn't looking for a relationship right now. I told him that i understood and would give him the space to do so, but our feelings got in the way and we were basically on and off were we would show these emotions but later on i would hear back from him that he wants to slow things down because he isn't ready for all that. The cycle continued, on and off... i was always unsure of what was going to happen, but i was still happy that i had him in my life because i still loved him. Fast forward to yesterday.... he messaged me and told me that he doesn't have enough feelings for me to be in a relationship.. and i said i understood. And i did, but i was heartbroken... it felt like the first break up all over again, but this time will be different because i gave him a second chance and i gave so much of myself at this point that if he really isn't satisfied with it, then i can't do no more.  I have to move forward, which again will take even more time... i will talk to my therapist soon about all of this which will definitely help me out... i'm tired of this whole process, and a lot of me was drained because i put so much effort into someone and i loved and cared for them, and i get nothing in return. Later i'll look back and think of what pros i got out of it, but this barely happened yesterday so i can't have this optimistic approach just yet. It'll take time, like everything else that has happened in my life... that will take time too. I'm ready to move forward in my life and focus on myself, and i will not be in another relationship like that, well hopefully.

Photo credit: breakup

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