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Confidence

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Hello everyone! I wanted to talk about confidence as an overall topic. I've had many issues with my overall confidence from a very young age. And till this point i still struggle with a couple of stuff but i'm honestly a lot better now at accepting myself for who i am. 

I've dealt with a lot of comparison in my life and a lot of it had to do with my family.. mostly my mom for comparing me to other girls.. and i know she does it out of love but most of what she said did not please me. I had a lot of problems with my own self esteem and how i viewed myself, i always thought i could be skinnier, have a nicer body overall like have nice boobs and have a nice ass. I've compared myself to friends and how their lives are going, wishing that i could be them for different reasons and all of this was just soooo unhealthy for me to do to myself.. can you imagine living a life where you really don't like your own self for what you are? I look back at everything i compared myself to and everything i'd tell myself to put my own self down and it's just sad, it's all very sad that i treated myself with this much hate and i know the reason behind it all... the main reason, but i'll share that with you all in a different post. 

I still have a hard time trying not to compare my looks to others because in the body that i have and that i carry, i'm sometimes just not content with it.. and it's not a weight issue really anymore because i've lost weight and even after losing weight i'd still have that same feeling, but i think i viewed myself in that light because of the way i carried myself. Constantly saying negative things to myself just brought my overall mood down. And my confidence suffered big time from it. I've been better about treating myself more kindly recently.. and i feel this big weight coming off my shoulders now because i can finally feel satisfied with my own vision of myself, and i still have bad days.. everyone does but majority of time i look at myself and see accomplishments i've done and how i'm not being so vain about my own looks... i'm proud of the fact that i'm a hardworker.. i'm a caring person and a loyal friend/ companion. And that to me is what makes me beautiful and that's the beauty i get to see out of myself and cherish everyday.. i don't want to have to think i'm not good for anyone because in reality i'm a great person.. i still have flaws... many flaws but i'm a goofy girl who exists to care for others.. and it's not because i'm dependent on doing so but i just love doing what i do to build relationships with people. 

I want to say if anyone is experiencing that same feeling in which they don't find themselves as confident as they should be, i suggest really spending time focusing on nonmaterialistic values... don't think about what you don't have in terms of looks or lifestyle things... look at what makes you stand out from other people and branch out into that. Thank you for taking the time to view this, take care everyone. 

* Not my original pic: Confidence  * 

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